Necessary Evils

I could go on for days about how much I love these shirts (in fact all of the shirts at www.wearscience.com) but it's better if you check them out for yourself. They're outstanding.

They say that living in a nursing home can be Hell... but the taxidermy museum in the basement of the Cress Funeral Home transcends anything Dante could have envisioned.

I know I've already reserved a bed for myself.

In the fourth step, he gives the birds nothing. But the crows see that coins have been spread on the ground near the machine. This reveals what's special about crows. Squirrels, for example, look at the box a half-dozen times, then disappear to play in traffic. Crows make the connection: Pick up the coin, put it in the box and receive a reward.

Better than having them pluck out your eyes, I suppose.

You gotta love the awesomely perfect combination of cute and gruesome in Stephanie Metz's work.

At least, I do.

(Please note there's a buy link there and my birthday is coming up.)

For a sheerly brilliant blend of comedy, and evil, you can't go wrong with a site called "Stuff White People Like". It'd be easy to beat that horse long after its dead with its own one-note joke, but these guys keep it coming with pitch-perfect posts every couple of days. If you're caucasian and haven't felt the cold grip of their teeth in the nape of your neck while reading one of their entries, then you may want to check your genetic woodpile.

Their April 1st press release was a masterful stroke.

These days, everybody's got a damn website and along with it, they're flogging some crappy shirts or mugs through one of those overpriced-mass-produced-by-your-grandmother fulfillment sites.

We'd like to believe that we're above all that, that we stand taller than the rest, that we have stronger principles and do what we do for the sheer fucking delight of it all...

Nope. Guess not. We got shirts and other crap for sale, just like every other asshole out there.

Sorry. Best we can all hope for is that somewhere out there, there's a sweatshop full of fingerless children painstakingly screen printing our stuff for pennies a day . . . but the likely reality is that it's probably all automated now. Damn computers're taking everybody's jobs.

If you don't know what Twitter is, you might very well be missing out on something that is not only necessary but also quite evil.

Though it started as a quick and easy way to keep friend up to date on where you're at and what you're doing, Twitter has rapidly evolved into the craziest collection of internet gurus, budding sex workers, fake celebs, and poseur wannabes... all yammering at each other non-fucking-stop.

Might not be necessary yet, but it will be soon -- or something quite like it. And it's certainly evil because it's more addictive than crack.

There's some real people there too, I think. You could be one of them. Look me up if you do.